Unpreventable

I was pretty upset when I wrote yesterday's blog post.  Half my bankroll gone since the year started and nothing I can do to stop it.  I must simply not be cut out for NL cash games.  We all have our strengths in poker and mine is obviously not in cash games, of course this year it's not in tournaments either apparently.  Might as well just cash out and forget playing online, after all, no sense in throwing good money after bad.  SNGs are not for me as I have seen before, limit games seem to be unavailable and I obviously can't play NL cash.  I have tried, but don't have what it takes to be a NL grinder.  It is rather heart breaking as I was looking forward to being able to do it live at one point, but I guess that dream is a pipe dream.

I fired up Poker Tracker and PTR to look at my obvious ineptitude.  Funny thing though.  Maybe I'm not done quite yet.  Turns out during my time on Hero Poker as a NL grinder I lost $5.  Of course, I was just starting out in this education of mine so a $5 loss is not something that I am going to get freaked out over.  In the 6 max games I actually earned $11.  I know it's small, but hey, it's something.  At Carbon Poker at 6 max I have lost $19 at $4NL and another ($25) down at $10NL in limited play.  That's really not all that bad all things considered.  But that session yesterday, and what I have gone through for the month of March made me decide to give up.  3755 hands in 4 days of play only to be down ($13.99).  But that's not even 4 full buy-ins down, but of course if I am just not cut out for it no matter the amount, no sense in continuing so I looked at the last 4 days to see what I obviously did wrong.

Lost with a full house
Had a flush twice and lost 2 of those times!!!
Had QQ 19 times and am losing money with it.
Have seen a flop with a pocket pair 75 times and have flopped a set................ only 5 times.  Odds say it should have happened 8 times at a bare minimum.
Stacked with AA vs 88.
Lost with KK vs KJ also lost with KK vs 44

I could go on.  I could point out the fact that out of the mere 5 sets I have flopped I lost with one oif them not just a stack in that hand..... but over $7.  I could point out that twice opponents have flopped a straight on me even though the odds of it happening are in excess of 75-1!!!  Once with KK once when I flopped a set, oh yeah, he had 34o.

It's not me!!!  It's not a lack of skills.  It's not I don't know what I'm doing.  It's the fact I am running very very very bad right now.  And to tell you the truth the fact that I have lost as little as I have tells me not only am I not doing anything wrong, but I am doing so so so much correct.  I am getting slammed in every conceivable way and keeping the losses within reason.  I think that shows my skill more than any winning streak ever could.  I am not going anywhere!!!  I will grind, grind, grind until this passes win, lose, or draw, but I will get through this.  I still have 38 full buy-ins in my bankroll and damn it I will not let this beat me.  I will play through this foolishness.  I will go for broke or go for gold, but either way, I am not turning tail and running.  FlushDraww is here to stay!!!

I realized I have gotten a little too tight for 6 max though.  I have taken the tight is right to an extreme and I need to ease up, but even a recent 6 max strategy website I was looking over basically told me that I am on the right track.  People are too loose even in 6 max and while the opening hands must be opened somewhat overall the tighter the better, but not to the point of possibly leaving money on the table.

I am heading for the tables in just a few moments.  My session ending time will be 11pm from now on and I am 6 tabling.  The HUD will tell me what is needed and the notes I find are less important than what the HUD tells me.  Look out poker world, here comes FlushDraww and he is ready to take the poker world by storm.

Play well.